


Nightmares

by ichigoangel



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Bit of Fluff, Lots of Angst, M/M, Oneshot, its 3 am and im tired, the usual i guess
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-07-14
Updated: 2013-07-14
Packaged: 2017-12-20 04:02:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/882715
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ichigoangel/pseuds/ichigoangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren's nights begin to be consumed by vivid nightmares. Eren is angered when Levi doesn't share his concern. Oneshot~</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nightmares

**Author's Note:**

> In the first nightmare, I tried to provide a vivid scenario that could realistically happen to Eren. In the second nightmare, I tried to make it more of a traditional disorienting nightmare that makes less sense.

The Scouting Legion was on a mission outside of the walls. Eren was near Levi in the center of the formation, as usual. Rain began to fall in slow, lazy droplets from the sky; nothing more than a light drizzle. For once, everything was going smoothly. The titans that did get in their way were quickly taken down by soldiers on the outer rims of the formation. Eren case a glance at Levi who was focused on the path ahead of him, judging the distance to their destination. They were going to investigate ruins near the forest that were rumored to have particularly troublesome titans around. At Levi’s command, Eren was to transform into a titan and kill off the titans. This wasn’t too difficult of a task and Eren was confident that he could handle it. He tore his gaze away from Levi and watched the path ahead of them. The rain was slowly beginning to come down harder.

They were nearing their destination and Eren once again looked to Levi, this time waiting for Levi to shout at him to transform. Levi signaled the others to clear more space around Eren so that he could transform safely without anybody getting hurt. After everybody had cleared out, Levi returned Eren’s gaze, shouting “Go, Eren.”

At that, Eren let himself fall backwards off of his horse and bit him thumb mid-air. He knew he wouldn’t hit the ground anyways and his horse would be in less danger. A blinding light, and a 15 meter class titan was in the middle of the formation. The rumored titans were within sight, and they were already running towards him; they had noticed the light from his transformation. He took two seven-meter class Titans down in the span of a few minutes. A 12 meter titan proved to be more troublesome and put up more of a fight.  
Eventually, he knocked that one down too, stomping on its neck as the final blow.

A skip in time. Eren had succeeded in killing off plenty of Titans. He was fully in control of his titan body for once. He scanned around both the field and forest around him. There were no titans left for him to kill; at least in this bit of territory.

Eren, however, found himself unsatisfied. He wanted- no, he needed to kill more. But there were no more titans anywhere near where he was. So he began to run. No titans, no humans. He kept running. 

The rain had transitioned to a downpour. The soldiers were battling to see against the heavy sheets of rain. 

Eren still hadn’t run into any more titans. However, he was coming close to the soldiers on the outermost bit of the formation. He caught up with them within a few strides. 

Eren was still conscious of his actions inside the titan. He knew what he was doing when he picked up one of the soldiers; a short-statured man who had been with the Scouting Legion for several years now. Eren never could recall his name but he had seen him around. He knew what he was doing when he lifted the screaming soldier farther into the air. 

He was fully aware of the soldier’s spine snapping underneath his fingers. The soldier was dead within seconds. 

Eren could hear screams from all around him. With their comrade’s instant death, the formation had gone to hell. Their worst nightmare was coming true; Eren had turned against them. He felt elated when he heard their shrill screaming. He picked up a young woman soldier. This time, he raised his victim to his lips. He opened his mouth and threw her inside. He could hear her final screams as she slid down his throat.

This process went on for a while. Eren would grab a human and kill them. He ate many of them but some he just crushed to death. He was completely aware of his actions and was still one hundred percent in control of his titan self. He was thoroughly enjoying himself. It didn’t matter if he was killing titans or humans, what mattered to him at that time was that he was killing. Yes, he would kill them all. 

Once in a while a soldier would be a bit calmer than the others and attempt to strike at Eren’s neck. Shaking, they would land on his neck and raise their blade. However, they were always too slow for Eren. 

The downpour was not letting up. A bolt of lightning lit up the dark grey sky, followed by a roll of thunder that rumbled through the land. 

At one point, Eren picked up a familiar soldier. Connie Springer stared at Eren with eyes full of shock and fear. Eren took mercy on his fellow comrade and merely crushed him under his hand, similarly to the way he did with his first human victim of the day.

Sasha Braus was also among the list of Eren’s victims. 

~

The storm was raging on. Any remaining order in the formation was completely gone. People were scattered about, trying to make it back to the wall before Eren could catch them. It surprised Eren how few titans were around; in fact, he hadn’t seen any since he killed the titans around the forest entrance. 

In the end, he didn’t really care. He had gotten the chance to kill quite a bit that day, and that was enough for him. 

He realized that in the madness he had never caught sight of Levi. Where could he be? Although, it was probably for the best that Levi hadn’t been around. He would try to kill Eren as soon as he laid eyes on him, anyways. Because he was the one who swore to kill Eren if he lost control, and he supposed his actions for the day were considered losing control.  
The thought angered him; of course he was in control. 

Naturally, he couldn’t avoid Corporal Levi forever. Eren found Levi awaiting him from a tree back at the forest entrance; it seemed that Levi knew that Eren would return to where he started. 

Levi’s eyes were full of hatred when he caught sight of Eren. Or, more accurately, the monster who had turned out to be nothing more than just another murderous titan. Levi had put his trust into Eren, and Eren had completely betrayed that. He couldn’t even blame it on Eren’s loss of conscious control of the Titan; it was evident in his movement that he was still in total control. He was covered in blood.

He had to kill Eren, just like he had sworn to do.

Eren was impossibly fast. Levi should have been able to move much faster than Eren. But now, Eren was faster. He knew that Levi was going to kill him.

So he killed him first.

Holding Levi, Eren raised him up to his eye level. He stared at Levi’s scornful eyes; Levi wasn’t putting up the fight that he should have. Puzzled, Eren hesitated in crushing Levi to his death. But eventually, Levi did raise his blade in a vain attempt to fight Eren back. 

Eren delivered Levi’s fatal blow.

The clap of thunder that struck was the loudest one that had happened yet.

~

Eren could feel the rain pounding onto his back. He let the droplets fall onto his face. After several minutes, he hoisted himself out of the titan’s body. Slick with rain, Eren slid right down the titan’s back. 

He surveyed the land around him. His eyes widened in shock at the haunting scene before him. Corpses were visible everywhere on the land. In a rush, the memories of what he had done as a Titan came rushing back to him. And that’s when he remembered that he had been the cause of Lance Corporal Levi’s death. 

No. That has to be a mistake. Everything else is real but there’s no way that I killed him before he could kill me.  
He ran to where his titan body’s arm was outstretched. There was steam everywhere as the body began to dissolve. But clenched in the hand was undoubtedly Corporal Levi. This was the first time Eren had seen Levi with an expression other than scorn- it was an expression Levi never should have had.

Eren screamed. He screamed, and he screamed.

~

Eren woke up with sweat drenching his face and hair. He closed his mouth, realizing that he had been screaming. He sat up, trying to stabilize his breathing. After a few minutes, he heard his door open.

Levi stood in the doorway, holding a lit candle. 

“What’s with all the noise? You do realize people are trying to sleep here, right?”

Relief flooded Eren when he saw Levi. He was relieved to hear the normal drawl of Levi’s voice.

It meant he was alive, and that was enough to help Eren recover from his dream, if only a little. 

“Sorry, sir.”

“Yeah, whatever, brat, just keep it down.” Levi stared him down for a moment before leaving. Eren suspected that Levi already knew that Eren had been having the worst nightmare of his life.

-x-

For the first time as a soldier of the Scouting Legion, Eren was on a mission that didn’t require him in his Titan form. Corporal Levi was allowing him to prove himself as a normal soldier. However, Eren’s joy over being able to participate as a human was short lived. Levi had told Eren the truth; nobody really had any trust in him. Eren had known that people had feared he lacked control as a Titan, but he had always felt that they at least somewhat trusted him as a human. He was wrong; people had grown just as fearful of Eren as a human as they were of Eren as a titan. 

Eren did himself no favors when he became angry once Levi had informed him of the situation. He fell backwards onto the ground; Levi had kicked him in the gut. Eren realized that he had had his hand lifted to his mouth and had been about to turn into a titan, for no other reason than simple frustration over the lack of confidence in him. 

“You need to watch it, before you lose control over yourself as a human, too.” Eren said nothing as Levi walked away.

A time skip. In the forest, Eren managed to kill a Titan using his 3D maneuver gear and his blades. He was proud of himself; he didn’t receive many chances to slay titans as a human. 

Another time skip. A soldier approached Eren from behind, shouting that he was a monster, and reminded Eren that nobody trusted him. The soldier was faceless. Eren screamed  
as he stabbed the faceless soldier right through the heart.

“How dare you kill your own kind, you really are a monster, aren’t you?” the faceless soldier cried as it began to disappear. 

Eren found himself in the middle of a field in the territory they had been battling in. He was surrounded by more faceless soldiers. Two began to approach him, and he killed them, stabbing them through the chest like the first soldier. More advanced, and more he killed. 

Suddenly, Levi was there. Eren was relieved; Levi would know what was going on. Corporal Levi had an answer for everything. Levi approached Eren quickly, stopping when he was directly in front of him. 

“Corporal, what’s goi-“ Eren was cut off by a sharp pain in his chest. He looked down to see blood spreading through the fabric of his shirt.

Levi whispered in Eren’s ear as the life bled of of him, “You’ve been against humanity this whole time.”

~

Eren once again awoke screaming and covered in sweat. He again sat up and tried to calm himself down. The nightmares had been happening for several days now. Each one terrified Eren greatly; they were always about him turning against the Scouting Legion and humanity itself, making him no better than any other titan. He would have to tell Levi about them; he was terrified at how realistic some of his nightmares had been. It was difficult to control himself as a titan as it was, he didn’t need the weight of such dreams on his shoulders to remind him how easy losing control was.

Each night Levi had come to Eren’s room to make tell him to shut up; but it had also been to make sure that Eren was okay. 

Once again, Eren saw Levi standing in the doorway. “Listen, kid, this is beginning to happen way too much. Get a grip on yourself, would you? The rest of us shouldn’t have to sacrifice our rest so a brat like you can scream in the middle of the night.”

“Corporal, do you trust me? Or am I just here so that you can kill me immediately when I lose it?”

_So that’s what’s been bothering him. He doesn’t trust himself in the slightest, does he._

“Listen, kid, I know you’ve been having nightmares. We’ve all had them. You’ll be fine. Get over it.” Levi was already turning to leave when Eren began to shout in reply.

“Listen to me, Corporal! I’m just a monster like all of the rest of them! Why do you bother to even keep me around? Why didn’t you just let the Military Police cut me open and dispose of me? It would have been so much easier, right? Why even deal with me? Why, Corporal?” 

Eren doubled over in pain; Rivaille had set the candle on Eren’s dresser and had kicked him harshly in the stomach. 

“Learn your place, brat, it’s not up to you to question the reason behind my own actions.” 

Eren looked up with anger blazing in his green eyes. Despite Levi’s obvious warning against continuing the argument, Eren continued.

“Shouldn’t you be at least somewhat concerned about this? You don’t really care at all, do you? I lose control, you kill me, simple as that. It doesn’t matter at all to you, does it? You don’t give a fuck if I can control myself or not!”

This time Eren was stopped by a kick to the face. 

“What did I tell you? Watch yourself, kid. I don’t need to explain myself to you.”

Eren was angered by the whole situation. By the relentless nightmares, by Levi’s always-cold demeanor when it came to Eren’s concerns, by the lack of trust people put into him.

Without thinking, Eren raised his hand to his mouth. He could feel the skin of his hand under his teeth. Not even a kick to his face could distract him enough to stop himself from transforming now.

Levi realized what was about to happen the second he saw Eren’s hand move on impulse. He grabbed one of the blades from Eren’s maneuver gear and cut Eren’s chest.

Levi watched as the younger tore his finger away from his mouth to watch in disbelief as blood seeped through his shirt. Just like in his last nightmare.

Although, this time the wound was not fatal. Levi had only cut Eren enough to distract him; the cut wasn’t very deep at all although it did bleed a lot. There was silence as Levi dropped Eren’s blade onto the floor. Eren was still staring intently at the wound.

~

An overwhelming sense of shame fled into Eren. He had almost completely lost control as he was arguing about his fear of losing control. He had had every intention of transforming into a titan right there, simply on impulse. Levi had actually had to cut him to distract him enough to stop the transformation from taking place.

Tears of anger and shock had filled Eren’s eyes. In the end, he really was just a monster with no control. How was he supposed to be humanity’s greatest hope when he couldn’t even get over a few nightmares? Eren could feel himself shaking. The tears spilled over his eyes and were streaming down his cheeks. This should not have been happening. 

Levi said nothing as Eren began to rock back and forth slightly. It was odd seeing the kid so broken; during the day he was full of energy and excited to make progress. This nightmare-ridden, panicky child was a side of Eren that Levi had yet to witness. It was a pathetic sight to see, but in the end, Levi couldn’t in good conscious leave Eren there like that.

“Eren. Come with me, I’ll get you bandaged up.” Eren looked up and nodded, trying to regain some shred of composure. Looking like a fragile crybaby in front of Corporal Levi was not exactly going to help his case. Eren followed Levi out into the hallway. After climbing a flight of stairs, Eren found himself at the entrance of Levi’s room. “Try not to dirty up the place, just follow me to the bathroom.” Eren said nothing, just followed Levi into the large bathroom that belonged to Levi.  
Eren stood awkwardly as Levi applied some ointment to the cut (to help against infection) and placed a bandage over the wound, using medical tape to hold it in place.

“Alright, I’m done.”

“Thank you, Corporal. I’ll go back to my room now.” Eren was anxious to get away from Levi; he was still ashamed of what had happened.

“Actually, kid, you’re going to sleep in my room with me tonight. Nightmares aren’t as likely to happen when there’s another person in the room, didn’t you know that? And I’m sure that everybody in this goddamned building would appreciate the chance to actually get some sleep without being rudely awakened by your screaming.”

There was no use in arguing with Levi, Levi never said anything that he didn’t completely mean.

“Can I at least have a blanket?”

“What?”

“Well, sleeping on the floor is rather uncomfortable, sir, but it would be nice if I could have a blanket. I could grab mine from my room if that’s okay.”

“You know, you shitty brat, you really are dumb. The even let you sleep in a bed in your dungeon cell, for god sakes.”

Eren had finally caught on to the fact that the night would be spent sharing a bed with Levi. Eren had to admit that he was rather pleased by the turn of events. Levi was a lot less intimidating when he was sleeping, especially when he curled right up to Eren in his sleep. 

It was the best sleep that Eren had gotten in a long time.

That night, Eren finally began to believe in himself again; if Levi could bring himself to believe in Eren, then there must be a reason. Levi did not make decisions on impulse; he always knew exactly what he was doing. And if Levi could trust Eren, then Eren could trust himself, too.


End file.
